January 2008
26 posts
Global Warming Blamed For Thawing Of Nun's Tits →
The concern now is that more breasts will thaw sooner than expected, causing a flood of boobs beyond which officials are able to control.
December 2007
16 posts
Al Qaeda To Go Younger, Hipper In 2008 →
According to Middle East Terror Holdings Unlimited, the first phase of the marketing push includes both a new slogan and the introduction of a new mascot.
Montana First State To Ban "Why Are You Hitting... →
The game involves an older sibling sitting on top of a younger sibling and then forcing the younger child to pummel him or herself, often in the face.
Murderers, Rapists Flock To New Jersey →
Hundreds have begun to make the pilgrimage to New Jersey now that Gov. Jon Corzine has signed legislation that ends capital punishment in that state.
Report Finds Steroids Helped Dolphins Win →
The report pointed to a visit by New York Yankees pitcher Roger Clemens and a giant crate of needles by the front door of the locker room as proof.
Huckabee Vows To Ditch Last Name If Elected →
Huckabee brushed off the concerns of his fellow Republicans and made the announcement at the annual “Lock Up The Gays” rally in Central Park.
Survivor In Da Hood →
It’s a unique take on the Survivor theme, and the first season where deaths actually occurred during filming.
USA Today To Run Only Pictures Of Attractive... →
The decision is only the latest move on the part of media companies to tailor their products to modern, attractive, well-groomed audiences.
Jesus To Santa: Suck It! →
A new Christian splinter movement called the Help Jesus Church is launching a campaign to take Christmas away from Santa and give it back to Jesus.
CIA Destroyed Tapes Of Grey's Anatomy →
According to a series of late 2006 memos, among those destroyed was the one where the guy came into the hospital with the bomb in his chest.
Hillary, Urkel Draw Dozens →
Political pundits see the pairing as a calculated attempt to blunt Barak Obama’s recent use of Oprah Winfrey to shore up his support with women.
Bush Bored With Iraq, Iran; Seeks New Target →
In a televised speech this evening, Bush will announce plans to refocus the nation’s efforts in the war on terror with the war on somebody bad.
[audio] Ad: Yapstick →
For those times when she just won’t shut. The. Hell. Up, here’s a little somethin’ somethin’ to help you take care of business.
Govt Raises Bin Laden Bounty With New Lottery →
Officials say payouts on the “Osama bin Lotto” game easily exceed $100,000, but scratching off the wrong spot could cost you a finger.
Second Annual Cyberstalking Saturday A Success →
Truly accurate statistics for the day may never be known, as most participants of the pastime go through great pains to remain under the radar.
Obama Vows To Outlaw Stupid Corporate Buzz Words →
“They’re words that dumb people use to sound smart,” said Obama at a business leaders conference. “I’m really just saving you from yourselves, you morons.”